Today I started my day off with my usual morning reading. Okay, so being honest, I have consistently only been doing this for the past four days, but I have really been enjoying it. As a part of Lent this year, I have tried to make this into a habit that will far surpass the time of Lent, but what better time to start?
This morning I had some videos in my inbox from Susan. The first video was focussed on “The sweet spot.” This is the place where your gifts and passions collide with God’s sovereign plan. The place where you thrive naturally, not forcefully. This is a place I struggle sometimes. I find myself in situations where I am in over my head and realize, welp I am actually not meant for this.
While I was growing up, I lived in the mindset that I had to excel in EVERYTHING. If I fell into the average or mediocre category you might as well have just shipped me off to Timbuktu. I was a perfectionist in the most unhealthy of ways. Looking back, it is painful to even think about. It was not until the last few years, especially after marriage and motherhood, that I began to realize I simply could not be everything. That was a fun pill to swallow.
It is funny because I can clearly note the moments in my life where I began to crumble because I was reaching for things that just weren’t meant to be. In college, I found myself striving to be good at things everyone else was good at, or what was “cool” to be good at. I drove myself insane with some of my unrealistic goals. Finally when starting my capstone project, I had this realization that my gifts were important and could be utilized. I just needed to be okay with what those gifts were.
Sidekicks was born through this realization. I would say that is a success and a perfect example of that “Sweet Spot.” Now do not get me wrong, I still battle what exactly my role is supposed to be. I am first a thinker and creative. I am not a structured individual that possesses your typical CEO characteristics. I am forgetful and honestly soooooo bad at answering emails and things of that nature.
I often feel like a failure in the position I hold. It feels like everyone else who holds this type of position has gifts that I simply do not possess. It can be very discouraging. Although I think there is something to the way our organization runs that allows it to work. First and foremost, my business partners show me grace day in and day out. Seriously. I screw up a lot, but where my weaknesses are, they come in strong and pull the weight.
I still question my role. Is it right? Could someone else do it better? Am I letting people down? Maybe, but maybe not. If I sit in that mindset, how will I ever push forward and excel. I could allow myself to diminish under the weight of thoughts of failure, or I can pick myself up and understand that there is no one else out there that can replace the specific gifts I have been given. Maybe down the road the “Sweet Spot” will change, but for now it works.
I will say that this applies far beyond just my work. That was the best example I could give. In my everyday life of being a mom, daughter, wife, and friend I have to remember my gifts. So often I get caught up in comparison and it is such a thief of joy. I think it is a trap for many of us. But what if we were able to simply focus on refining our own special piece to the puzzle? How would that look different in my everyday life? Also, how much more could I serve others than being self consumed with being “better.” I will just be over here eating a big bowl of humility.
Today I want to love my special gifts. I want to nourish them with truth and watch them bloom. (Am I ready for spring or what?) But seriously, we should be praying over these things daily and asking the Lord to help reveal more and more of them each day. They were given to me for a reason and the Lord wants me to share them with His children. So how about we do that?